There is a major difference between our reality and the reality of life. Our reality consists of thoughts, feelings, emotions and points of view. It can only exist in our mind. In the reality of life, there are no thoughts, feelings or emotion. There is only the truth. What's so is what's so. Things just are and our feelings about it are totally irrelevant.

A good way to see this is to find a time when you were upset. Didn’t something happen? Yes. Something happened. That’s the truth. It happened. Now notice how totally irrelevant your feelings were about it. No matter how upset you were, it still happened. Your feelings may shape your future actions, but they don’t change what happened. There is the truth and there are our feelings about it. The two are never, never connected in reality. They are only connected in our mind.

What's so is always what's so

My wife and I have a black and white cat. No matter how I feel about it, that cat won’t bark. I can yell at the cat and plead with the cat, but no matter what I do, the cat still won’t bark. The same is true about life. The people in your life are the way they are and your situation is the way it is. Everything can change tomorrow, but at any moment, the truth is still the truth. Our feelings about it don’t change a thing. The cat still doesn’t bark.

When you are at peace with the truth, you are very effective. You have peace of mind. You see your situation clearly and can see what needs to be done. Look at the areas of your life that work great. These are areas where you can flow with whatever happens. Things happen that you don’t like, but you can flow with them.

Now look at the areas of your life that don’t work. These are areas where you can’t flow. You are fighting the truth of something. When you do this, you destroy your effectiveness. You create a state of fear, upset, and tunnel vision. You lose your ability to see clearly and almost always make your situation worse.

Fortunately, being at peace with the truth doesn’t mean that you like it. You don’t have to like it at all. It’s just a matter of surrendering to the truth. In my example with the cat: if I could surrender to the fact that the cat doesn’t bark, the upset would go away and my focus would automatically shift to what I need to do about it. If I want to hear barking, I can go get a dog. I will look in a direction where solutions and opportunity show up.

Fighting the truth destroys your effectiveness

When I fight the truth, all my focus will be on the cat. I will be convinced that the cat is the problem, but the cat is not the problem. The cat is just the cat. The problem is my fighting the truth. When my focus is on fighting the truth, there will be no focus on solutions. Instead of resolving the problem, I will make it worse.

When you fight the truth, you destroy your ability to see the truth. When you can’t see the truth, you can’t see what you need to do and you can't take effective action. For example, handling a situation without seeing the truth is like trying to open a door when you can’t see that it’s locked. You may spend a lot of energy trying to force the door open, but you won’t be very effective.

Once you surrender to the truth, you restore your ability to see clearly. You may not like what you see, but at least you can see it. Instead of trying to force open a locked door, you can put your focus on finding a key. You can then take action that is appropriate to your situation.

Surrendering to the truth and restoring your inner peace is the key to being effective in handling your situation. It’s also the key to creating a great life. The articles on this site will show you how.

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